The Night with No Tomorrow
by mycove
Summary: "I disobeyed… and there was a few…injuries … " Alvin's words kept ringing in Hiccup's head. What did he really mean ? Who was hurt ? What kind of injuries ? And, surely this word meant no one got killed… right ? Discover my own version of what happened 20 years ago, and why it ended up with Stoick's wrath and Alvin's banishment… Rated T for emotional issues. I don't own HTTYD
1. Chapter 1 : A dark secret

_Outcast Island could be seen in the distance. A man, a boy and a dragon -an unlikely trio- were allies in the perilous attempt to save Stoick the Vast, and time was running out._

_Hiccup knew he had to seize the opportunity to know more about the 20-year-old events his father so strongly refused to discuss about… Although Hiccup had been taught all his life that Alvin was an enemy of Berk, he knew that the man was his best chance to discover the truth._

_So, Alvin had disobeyed his father's orders. And there were a few…. Injuries, the bulky man said. This sounded so familiar to Hiccup… his ever-going rivalry with Snoutlout…. History has a strange way to repeat itself._

_But Alvin didn't get any further. It was time to go and save Stoick._

_Fortunately, their rescue mission, against all the odds, was a success. Better still, Stoick at last, at long last, forgave Alvin._

**CHAPTER ONE**

A few days after Dagur was defeated, Hiccup's head was still full of questions. He knew more than before, but that was not enough. How could his father be so angry with his former best friend, Alvin, for as long as twenty years? Of course, Stoick was stubborn… and Hiccup did know what anger was, too. Snoutlout made that too easy for him, often enough. But in the end, the teens would always patch things up, somehow.

« Injuries »… what kind of injuries? And, surely this word meant no one got killed… right?

He was so lost in his thoughts, it didn't go unnoticed, especially by Astrid.

Confident since the two men were friends again, Hiccup decided to ask his father once more… The chief of Berk was busy carving a wooden duck, a relaxing time after a rough day.

« Hey, Dad… »

« Yes, son ? What is it ? »

Hiccup tried to sound as casual as he could be. « So… looks like you had your own Snotlout to deal with, when you were young…»

Stoick's smiling face suddenly changed to a stern look. « I should have known you'd be trying to find out… Now, we've been through this, son. This discussion is over »

« Wh..what ? I.. I don't understand, why do you.. »

« ENOUGH ! »

Even when the room went silent, Stoick's last word still echoed in Hiccup's ears.

The teen stood there, silent, frozen. Stoick's suddenly sorrowful eyes looked away, and nothing more could be obtained from the man. For Hiccup, it at once felt as if the old days were back again. No reaching. No communication.

He turned around, rushed to the door, opened it and ran away, without a back glance.

Guilt and sadness gnawing at him, Hiccup turned to the man he had always trusted, the one who had been a second father to him, the one who actually raised him, in the heat and noise and smell of the smithy.

He found Gobber at his usual place, in the middle of sharpening an axe. Peace was just made, but vikings were still… well, vikings!

**Hello, everyone ! The finale of Defenders of Berk paved the way for new ideas... so this is my first fanfiction, reviews and constructive comments are welcome ! Also, many thanks to my two readers, Schnuckles and NightShadefromSweden, who help me a lot !**

**I hope you'll like the journey. Be careful though, it might get sad at some point...**

**Thanks for reading !**


	2. Chapter 2 : An invisible wall

CHAPTER 2

Hiccup stood in front of the smithy for a while. Gobber was too busy with his work to notice him. A little taken back by his father's reaction, the boy was wondering how to engage the conversation. For a moment, Hiccup felt terribly lonely, torn between the need to know and the fear to revive old pains and have another back turned on him… It was like there was an invisible wall between him and the rest of the world. He was yearning to know, and the world seemed to shut him out.

Eventually, it was Gobber who happened to catch a glimpse of the boy. Or more precisely, to the dragon's boy, who is much easier to spot, big and black as he is. Worried about his rider and friend after his flight from the house, Toothless had run outside the house as well to join the boy, not without blaming Stoick with a snarl and bared teeth.

«Hey Hiccup, nice of ya to join in! I've just finished with this good old Sigrid. She really needed to be taken care of, didn't she?»

«Err… Yeah… Sure » Hiccup answered warily, not really certain if he was talking about the weapon. Why did he always have to give them names? He rubbed nervously on the back of his head.

«Actually, I didn't come here to… I mean… Yup, you got me, I was thinking of joining you and… To help you in the forge!» Hiccup had suddenly decided he could not afford another direct approach.

So he took his leather apron and started to grab some tools, pretending he knew what he was going to work on. Toothless wasn't sure if he liked this or not, because he would have been up for a ride around the island. But on second thought, a little nap never hurt a dragon, so he decided to lay outside the forge, still keeping an eye on his human from a distance.

When Hiccup realized it had been a few days since he came to the forge, and therefore had no idea what he could help Gobber with, he awkwardly turned to his mentor. Luckily for him, the man was still admiring his own work in the light.

Hiccup, unable to utter a single word, gazed absent-minded at the floor, and after a few seconds, focused again and with a sigh, he started working on a broken spear. He couldn't understand why he felt so helpless about this.

Soon enough, Gobber started to talk about this and that, talking about one subject after another, each one seeming a little more idle than its predecessor to Hiccup. Worst still, from time to time, he sang the tune he often liked to sing, maybe the only one he knew.

«Just what I needed,», he thought sarcastically. «what do I do now?»

Somehow the hours passed. And during this time, a weird feeling built itself up inside Hiccup's heart as his frustration grew. He felt as if it became more and more difficult to breathe, and couldn't tell if there was anger or despair.

Suddenly, with a loud, metallic clash that woke up Toothless, he laid his tools and weapons, turned to Gobber, and in one second, regained his strong, stubborn determination.

«I need to know what exactly happened the day Alvin disobeyed my father's orders, Gobber.» He finished his sentence out of breath, found out he was tense from head to toe, and almost trembling with the waiting of the man's reaction.

There was a short silence, but since it came after Gobber's never ending blabber, it was as if this silence was overwhelming with noise inside their heads. Time had stopped. Gobber laid his work down as well, slowly this time, but within moments, he picked it again.

«It was not a day, lad, it was a night.» Gobber casually answered. «One of the darkest nights we ever had on Berk, no moon in the sky and no clouds over our heads. There was this dragon attack, but at that time, it was a kind of routine, and your… »

Gobber paused. For a tiny moment, Hiccup could have sworn his eyes were lost into the void. But quickly, the older man recovered his carefree ways :

«Your father drove them away, with the help of the village. People often got hurt or burnt during the dragon raids, you know. Nothing we couldn't take care of.»

«What about Alvin?» Hiccup asked, already suspicious that Gobber had intentionally left out a certain number of events.

«Oh Alvin, well… Not much to tell. He… Wanted to choose which dragon he would kick ass to, and they disagreed on that.»

Their eyes met. They had spent so many years working together side by side. Hiccup couldn't be so easily fooled by Gobber and Gobber knew that his apprentice certainly wasn't on this one. Especially because the boy was staring at him, silent, with that look on this face that clearly meant «Come on, I'm not an idiot, tell me what I need to know.»

«One of these dragons was set on having a sheep for dinner, but he was flying so close to the ground, he knocked Bucket off in the process.»

«Bucket? So, that's… That's when he…» He took a second to find a nice way to put it. «… Changed?»

«Ah no, certainly not. His brain had been knocked before, ya know, which was a piece of luck in a way, because he was already wearing this bucket of his at that time, and he might have died without it!» Gobber added with almost some feeling of victory in his voice.

New stare from Hiccup. Gobber's eyes shifted uncomfortably from side to side.

«But ya know, that's also the night when Sven became Silent Sven! Ah, is he talkative now! Who knew?»

The explosion came.

«I'm serious, Gobber! Alvin and my father are now friends again, which is great, but still, I've been wondering, I mean, if they were such good friends before, how could that bond have stayed broken for twenty years?»

«Hiccup…»

« Sure, Alvin disobeyed my father's orders, as he told me, but that kind of thing happens to me all the time with Snotlout»

« Hiccup!...»

«Or even the twins – OK, more often than not, the twins don't do it on purpose, you know how they are.»

«Hicc. up.»

«But still, I have to try and control the riders, and yet-»

«HICCUP!»

Hiccup was startled, as if we had suddenly awoken for a dream. He hadn't realized that Gobber had tried to interrupt him several times. The older man heaved a deep sigh.

**OK, everyone, thank you for dropping by, and big hugs to people who reviewed ! If you like the story, it's not too late to do so ! This chapter is much longer, as Hiccup strives to get closer to the truth. And this is far from being over yet !**

**Sorry about the quotation marks, because they're not the regular ones…**

**I'd like to thank my beta readers again, Shnuckles and NightshadefromSweden !**

**Take care, fellows !**


	3. Chapter 3 A light in the distance

**Hi everyone ! This is a bit short, but it settles things so we can move on later. My updates may come at a slower rate, please bear with me, and I hope you'll enjoy ! Thanks again to my faithful beta readers, and to you all readers who stopped by ! Please leave a review !**

CHAPTER 3

Gobber looked at Hiccup right into his eyes, then quickly dropped his gaze to the floor.

«Easy there, lad, I…I'm not sure, there are some things you never knew, and if your Dad won't talk about it, maybe that's because you don't need to know. He's just trying to protect you, you know?»

«Gobber, I don't need to be protected!» Hiccup answered with a slight irritation in his voice.

«Actually, the more you all are trying to keep me out, the more I'm sure there's something important you're hiding from me. Something that happened long before I was born anyway, what does it even have to do with me?»

«Oh all right, anyway, I know you well enough to know you're not dropping this anytime soon… you know, in his youth, Alvin was very much like Snotlout. Reckless beyond words.» For a moment, it seemed as if Gobber's mind had traveled to a faraway place. «He liked to do things his way, and hardly ever heeded Stoick. But that night… it cost us too much… it cost Stoick too much, and not only him…Your mother too…»

Hiccup's eyes darted back and forth for a second. «My mother? She… she was injured? because of Alvin? What happened to her?»

«Hiccup», Gobber went on, ignoring his questions, « when you were little, your Dad was very busy with his chieftain duties, and when your mother was gone, he was… devastated. So one day, I was working at the forge, as always, and the next thing I knew was that a toddler was in my workshop, awkwardly walking around, and touching everything he could…»

Hiccup suddenly felt as if he was boiling inside

«What? What are you talking about? It was about my mother, come on, Gobber, focus!»

Gobber cast Hiccup a side glance.

«Oh, right… well Gothi took care of her, of course. End of story. I've got a lot to do. Why don't you go for a spin around the island on this dragon of yours?» Said dragon lifted his ears and then his head, his big round eyes glimmering with hope.

But Hiccup's own eyes darkened. Dead end again. Even Gobber. Really?

Unseen by Gobber, Hiccup flinched… and gave up. Without another word, he went to Toothless, jumped onto the saddle, clicked his prosthetic in place, and the two friends took off.

As soon as Hiccup had left, a worried Gobber took a look over his shoulder. It was so unlike Hiccup to leave like that, especially without fighting.

«When I became in charge of you, Hiccup», he said to himself, «I knew one thing: even if Stoick didn't know how to show his love, he did love you, and… he just couldn't lose you…not after all that.»

With another sigh, he lifted his gaze to the Haddock house, up the slope. So much had happened that night… things that were kept a secret between him, his friend Stoick, Valka, and the elder Gothi. Things that had left some scars inside.

Gobber knew it was time to go and talk to Stoick.

The wind was cold and blowing ruthlessly up there. It was slapping Hiccup's face, but the boy hardly noticed. Tears of frustration threatened to fall from his eyes, and he could only think of the pain in his heart. Toothless, always in symbiosis with Hiccup, could sense that. He crooned softly to get his rider's attention, and tried to tilt his head so he could see the boy's face.

«What are you looking at?» Hiccup realized the harshness of his tone as he finished his sentence. «I'm sorry, bud. I really don't know what's gotten into me. I… I don't understand why I'm so upset about this. It's… it's like it's stirring some feelings deep inside.. some feelings I can't put my finger on, like something I forgot… long ago.»

For a while they flew in silence. Hiccup was struggling with himself to calm himself down. Then he remembered something Gobber said.

«Gothi! She was there! She must know! We have to go and see her, bud.» Tootless, in response, growled.

«Yeah, I know bud, I can understand my Dad, Gobber…and not Gothi's drawings. But, hey, I bet I could get more words from her than I heard from them today!»


	4. Chapter 4 : A stunning revelation

**Hey, everyone ! Thank you for your patience, I know it's been a long time, but I just needed the right time to write. I would like to thank again Nightshade and Schnuckles for their precious help !** **Enough said; on with the chapter !**

CHAPTER 4 : A stunning revelation  
Hiccup and Toothless took the direction of the highly-perched house of Gothi. They flew over the village in the process, which was nothing unusual, but it caught Astrid's attention. She had stepped out of her house to feed Stormfly, and found it strange how the night fury was decidedly heading towards the elder's hut, especially since the teens were to meet pretty soon in the arena.

«Strange, could Hiccup be sick? » She thought. She had a true, natural, caring feeling for Hiccup, although she was always doing her best to hide it. Her curiosity made the rest, and in a heartbeat, not letting her dragon finish her last mouthful of chicken, she jumped on the mighty creature's back.

Toothless landed, as gracefully as ever, on the deck in front of Gothi's house. Hiccup jumped off, gave his dragon a scratch on the head and said in a low voice:

«Just give me a moment, OK bud ? You can't fit in there, you know that!» He tried to sound casual, but he was already nervous about the conversation to come. Well, if you can call that a conversation. Gothi never spoke, and the drawings she made were a challenge to understand…

After a short hesitation, he knocked at the door. When it opened, the small, wrinkly old woman welcomed the young boy with a warm look, but no smile however. She noticed that Hiccup's mind was puzzled the second she saw him.

«Ahem, Gothi, hi… Hi, Gothi…» he started, scratching on the back of his head. «You're here… obviously you are, I mean, it's your home, you opened the door…»

The elderly woman raised an eyebrow to him. Without a warning, she used the staff she always carried with her to motion the boy in.

Astrid had been watching the scene from afar, up in the air. She knew Hiccup so well. She had noticed how his back was slightly hunched downward. Her instinct told her not to go and disturb them. But her wits told her otherwise. She landed with Stormfly on the ground below the house, and took the stairs herself, using her stealth abilities so she wouldn't be noticed.

When she arrived on the deck, she was welcomed by a playful Toothless, happy not to be alone anymore. She had to hush him and make him settle down! It would be so awkward if Hiccup and Gothi found her now! She petted the dragon's head until he laid down again, purring with pleasure under her scratches.

Once she was sure Toothless was calm, she went to the door, trying to listen. It was closed, but the coarse boards the door was made of were uneven, so that air and sound could go through as they pleased.

It had taken her quite some time to get there, so when she began listening, Hiccup had finally managed to speak out what he came for.

«I…I know my Dad's hiding something from me. Gobber avoids the subject, too! That was 20 years ago, for Thor's sake, it seems to be about my mother, and they wouldn't tell!» He almost yelled the last words. «They wouldn't tell», he repeated in a soft voice. «This silence… I started to think someone died that night, the night when Alvin disobeyed my father's orders, thus leading to his banishment. What else could have angered my father so much? But it can't be her, not my mother, because I was born 5 years later. So what is it about?»

He had spoken without taking time to catch his breath, and he was gasping for air now. All this time, Gothi had watched him carefully, motionless. She held out her staff and touched Hiccup's chest with its end. On his heart.

Hiccup tried his best to understand. The soft pressure on his heart, the depth of her look into his eyes… he knew he was right. There was something important. But how was that related to him?  
He didn't know at that time that Gothi was saying it was part of his being too. Part of his story. And that was why she would tell him the secret.

She went to a corner where some sand was spread on the floor. The staff speaking for her, she started to draw the outline of someone. A pointed nose. Long, long plaits running down a slender back.

«My mother? » Hiccup asked.

Gothi raised her eyes to meet his once more, and she turned back to her drawing, continuing the line below her neck. Her breast. Then, coming lower, a slightly swollen line. Hiccup's skin became instantly as pale as snow. His blood had retrieved from his lips. Out of balance, out of breath, he took a step backwards, hardly able to stand.

«My mother was…. pregnant? »

**All right, sorry about the cliffhanger, but what else would I do ? *evil grin* This is a key moment in the story, I hope you'll be hapy to follow it… If you liked it, please leave a review **


	5. Chapter 5 : Running away

CHAPTER 5

Hiccup was half-standing, motionless, still in shock.

« Wh… what ? », he stammered with trembling lips. « How…. Why did I never know ? » Thinking again, he added :

« What happened to this unborn baby, Gothi ? » If he was supposed to have a sibling, where was the child ? Well, not really a child. He, or she, would be 4 or 5 years older than him. 19 or 20… a young person rather than a child. An older sibling to look up to. A sibling to share things with. A sibling who, maybe, could have helped him and Stoick get along better than they had during Hiccup's early years.

He was hoping Gothi would tell him this sibling was somewhere, for some unknown reason, but deep within him, he had guessed the truth.

So he was not really surprised when Gothi took her staff again, pointing it to Valka's silhouette, starting at the swollen belly, and drawing a line from there to the further end of the sand, as far as it would spread.

« Gone ? « he whispered. Without a warning, tears had begun to fall from his eyes. « So, she… she lost the child ? Was it… ? that night…. Because of… No… NO ! it can't be ! Gothi, tell me it can't be ! »

Gothi could only lower her eyes and look sorry.

« She was with child… I should have had an older brother, or sister. But it couldn't be… I see why now. I understand now why my father banished Alvin… »

His face was growing tense with a new feeling rising within him. His fists clenched into fists, as they always did whenever he got upset. « He disobeyed my father's orders… There were injuries, he said. Injuries ! Why, my mother had to live through this, because of his recklessness ! »

Hiccup was now angrier than ever. More than that, a swirling rage was overwhelming him. And the mere thought that he could do nothing to change that… this past…. this injustice… it was only getting worse.

His hands still in fists were now shaking. Hiccup was feeling like he was about to burst.

On the other side of the door, Astrid was still listening, frozen too in shock. Then she had felt a deep sorrow for Hiccup, and for his mother. In the village, this kind of things had already happened, and though Vikings would stay « only the strong can belong », implying that the child wasn't meant to live anyway, the teens had always felt the sadness of the parents and families.

Then, out of instinct, or maybe because she knew Hiccup so well, she decided it was time to disappear. Her stealth skills not being a vain word, she quickly hid herself behind the corner of the small house. Not a second later, the door was flung open, a grieving Hiccup running outside.

Not wasting time, Hiccup jumped onto Toothless' saddle, and clicked his prosthesis into place, opening the tail. As one, the two took off to the skies. Astrid watched them leave, her head full of thoughts.

She suddenly noticed that, the door being still open, Gothi was staring at her. The elderly woman didn't seem the least surprised, though. Astrid, on the other hand, felt instantly embarrassed, like a child being caught in the middle of a mischief. She awkardly cleared her throat, knowing too well that Gothi had guessed she'd been listening, and not having a clue to how to get out of this one.

For a moment, she was thinking of making up a story, like she had come to fetch some herbs for her mother, or something. And then again, what was the point ? Gothi would have seen right through her anyway.

Astrid only sighed in defeat, lowered her head, and started to climb down, back to her dragon. Her mind was a mess. She had never seen Hiccup this upset. Even during the brief moment she saw him run away, she could have told he was broken inside.

The brutality of the facts and this heavy secret being suddenly revealed to him, had indeed taken their toll on the young boy. It was like a huge slap in his face. He was riding towards the woods, towards the cove, this place where he had first trained Toothless. This place where, for the first time, he had felt what it was like to have a friend, and to be able to be himself.

Said dragon knew his little human was desperate, although he could not grasp why. He could feel his muscles tense through his saddle. He tried several times to coo gently, which often resulted to get Hiccup's attention. But to no avail.

They reached the cove, and once they had landed, Hiccup jumped off without a word. For a minute or so, he stayed standing there, watching the peaceful lake, his back towards his dragon. Toothless waited. Waited respectfully for his friend to be ready to open up, and only wanting to be there for him.

Slowly, Hiccup started to turn around toward his faithful dragon. His face was still tense, his eyebrows furrowed. Lifting his gaze, his forest-green eyes met those of Toothless, so big, so round, filled with care and gentleness. At last, the boy gave in. He let his tears flow freely, his voice choke into a sob, and his legs run to his friend. Toothless cooed sadly, so his friend would know he could cry in his embrace for as long as he needed.


	6. Chapter 6 : 3 people in need of answers

**Hi ! Sorry I've taken time to update, but sometimes, it's hard to keep up ! **

CHAPTER 6

On Berk, peace had been made with Alvin, but this came with a price, Gobber thought as he was getting closer to the Haddock's house. When Hiccup allied with the chief of the Outcasts to free his father, he happened to know more about the night Alvin was banished,. More, but still not everything, still not enough, and the one-legged and one-handed man knew this would be gnawing at the boy.

Still unaware of Hiccup's visit to Gothi, Gobber had decided he should tell Stoick about the conversation they had in the forge. It would be hard to bring up the subject with his chief and old friend, oh Thor it would…

Yet, his knocks on the door were not answered. Stoick was probably out for his « chiefing duties », as he liked to call them. With a sigh, Gobber went back down the stairs. He had a lot of work in the forge for him to get on with, but he felt torn inside. Hiccup was more to him than his apprentice. He was like the son he never had. More than that, whether he chose it or not, he often had been the missing link between father and son.

He knew he would be losing a lot of time finding Stoick, and talking to Stoick, and probably arguing with Stoick, but if it was for Hiccup, then it would be worth it.

After Hiccup flew away, Astrid was walking aimlessly in the village, Stormfly following behind her, probably because she was expecting her daily chicken meal. The young girl, however, was lost in her thoughts. She could have easily followed Hiccup, and even had a clue where he was heading to, but she knew he needed to be with Toothless right now. Although she was a bit jealous at first, she had learned that Hiccup needed to live a part of his life with the black creature. It was a bound like no other, the dragon was like a second half of Hiccup. She was fully aware that there was absolutely nothing she could, nor should do about it.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by her own dragon, who just gave her a shove in her back with her muzzle.

« Stormfly, what ? Oh…. I see ! You're hungry, girl ? You're lucky, you don't have all these problems we humans have… Come on, at least I can help you for the moment. »

She turned around in order to walk towards her house, but bumped into something before she got the chance to see there WAS something in front of her.

She was sent back on the dirt, and stayed there for a second, recovering from her surprise. Not something… Someone.

« Oh, me sorry, girl ! Are ya all right ? » Astrid froze at the words… more especially at the voice. A voice she still wasn't used to hear in her village home.

Alvin's.

Hiccup had little to no idea how much time he spent crying in the black dragon's embrace. But what was baffling him completely, was why should such an old story have this effect upon him… Like an echo far away that still could be heard.

Toothless tried for a coo, and Hiccup seemed to wake up from a dream.

« Yeah, I'm OK, bud. Thanks. Really. For being there. »

He got up, shook his head, as if it would shake off all these emotions, but at least, he was feeling a little better., back in his old sassy self.

« Well…. I never thought I would say that, but, I definitely need to have a talk with my father. » He shuddered at the thought. « Simple, really... » he trailed off.

Toothless tilted his head sideways, ears up. He was glad to see his friend looked stronger now, and in addition, it probably meant they would be taking off again soon.

Astrid was still sprawled on the grass, eyes wide and gritted teeth.

« You…. » she started.

« 'ey, 'ey, young lady, I'm with the good guys, now, remember ? » the ex-Outcast replied with an amused tone.

Astrid's cheeks were burning as she started to get up. « Don't you dare… »

Even though Alvin had really made amends, he still was not the patient sort. He raised an eyebrow and showed bare, dirty teeth.

« 'old on, you, do you realize… »

« You murderer ! » Astrid shouted with tears in her eyes as she started to punch the huge man in his middle with every word. « you killed her child ! How can you show your face here ? Stoick did the only thing you deserved, when he banished you ! »

In her inner rage, a tiny, rational part of her made her stop. Alvin, Alvin the Treacherous, the mighty Alvin, was not fighting back.

He just took a step backwards.

« What…. What are ya talking about ?... »


	7. The wounded heart of an angry warrior

CHAPTER 7

Still caught in her rage, Astrid did not understand at once what Alvin was going through.

« Don't you mess with me, you know what I'm talking about ! »

Alvin made no answer. Lost in his thoughts, he was even completely ignoring the hysteric girl who was yelling at him.

« Are ye saying, lass, that she was with child and that… she lost it that night ? »

Astrid stopped screaming and punching to take a step back and studied the man's face.

« You mean… you didn't know ? Stoick the Vast banished you, and you never asked why ? »

« She got 'urt. All I knew was that she got 'urt. And that was because of… ». A pause. « because of me. » He sighed. « Ye know, Valka was Stoick's wife, but she also was a fierce warrior, and a brave woman. I respected her very much for that. Actually, we were friends. »

Astrid made a face.

« Ha ha, oh sure, we were. 'ard to believe, 'ey ? We were a little like the Thornston twins, always teasing each other. But she was my friend, as sure as Stoick was too… at that time. »

Astrid sat down on the nearest rock. Alvin did the same.

« So when I heard she 'ad been injured, ye trust me, this was the last thing I wanted. I was never too good at heeding orders, I must say. Stoick was the chief'son at that time, so he would rule because that was what he was born to do. Believe me or not, he was awkward and unsure at that time. So I wanted to prove 'im I could be as better a chief than he was. I wanted to prove myself.»

Astrid chuckled. « Reminds me of someone. You have no idea the troubles Hiccup got himself into because he wanted to prove himself to the tribe. And he still would, if I didn't watch his back ! »

« The kid's smart, I knew that the moment I met him. And so much like 'is father in 'is younger days, ye'd be surprised ! »

« That didn't stop you from kidnapping him »

« I told ye, I was angry ! »

« For twenty years ? » Astrid replied, the way Hiccup had once done so on Alvin. Said man took a quieter tone.

« After that night, Valka and Stoick stayed inside their house for several days. I tried to go to them, I wanted news of Valka. But he never let me in. Rather pushed me away. He was angry, lass, oh Thor he was. He never talked to me again, except to tell me to stay away from Valka and from him… When Stoick became chief, he simply told me that I was banished. »

Astrid said nothing, trying only to imagine how painful the ripping between the two friends must have been. She was still angry at Alvin, for all he did, but she understood that deep friendships would mean desperate feelings when they were broken.

Alvin went on : « I was in a rage. From then on, I only thought of overtaking Berk and take my revenge on 'im, because it was so unfair to me. I've been mad at 'im for twenty years , yes… »

« Yes, you showed us that», Astrid answered on an unforgiving tone.

The only thing I wanted was for Valka to be all right. And I was never allowed to see her again. I was banished, and ye know that banishment among Vikings has a non-return policy… That made me even angrier. »

« You know you have issues about your temper, right ? »

« The truth is… » Alvin said, not even aware of her teasing question, « the truth is I was angry at myself so 'ard. I had hurt Valka, and I couldn't forgive myself. »

Astrid kept silent as she felt the man was truly sorry. She had never seen Alvin that way. She never had even imagined that the man would be capable of remorse or compassion. And now, there he was, confessing his worst deeds to her, as if he needed so much to share his pain. A pain that had been kept inside for twenty years.

After a moment, when none of them had spoken a word, Alvin ventured, as if for himself :

« Why has he never told me ?... »

Gobber went to check the Great Hall first. It wasn't a short climb, but, he was a Viking, after all… even if he had a peg-leg, that made it difficult to take the uneven steps of stone.

He couldn't find Stoick there.

« Sometimes, I wish I had a dragon of my own ! » he mumbled as he stepped down towards the lower part of the village.

**Next time : Stoick's tale… Thanks for reading ! Please leave a little review as a feedback ! **


	8. Chapter 8 : That night

CHAPTER 8

Hiccup and Toothless were flying again, back to the village. Hiccup seized this opportunity to think of nothing but the cool wind on his face, ruffling his hair. Closing his eyes, he let the dragon lead them.

Scared as he was, he knew he couldn't bear this unspoken pain anymore. His pain, his father's, his mother's… Sometimes silence can hurt so much more than words.

He was nervous for another reason : their last « conversation » had not been the merriest one… Should he apologize first ? No, should his Dad apologize for losing his temper ? Hiccup shooed the thought away. This was unimportant. He needed to make –no, to help- his father open his heart, which was a much bigger task. On Stoick the Vast ? Good luck with that, he sarcastically thought.

Flying over the village, Hiccup was soon able to spot the large frame of his father. He was at the docks, helping his men with the boats. The chief lifted his gaze as he sensed he was suddenly shielded from the daylight, dim as it was through the clouds.

« Well, bud… we've been that far… » he stated, before landing a couple of steps away from the villagers.

Stoick turned his head towards the pair, and heaved a deep sigh. He simply told his men : « Finish the job. I have to go. »

Hiccup said nothing but gave a faint smile. He could not find the words to express how relieved he was. Stoick came to them, took out his hand to touch Toothless's muzzle.

« Let's fly up, shall we ? » the bulky man asked.

Hiccup nodded.

Once Stoick was settled bedind his son, Toothless took on, flying low over the sea at first, and circling the abrupt cliff around this part of the island. Then, soaring among the seabirds, high above the clouds, the mighty dragon reached the upper part of the village, on a wild, empty point overhanging the village.

Had Gobber lifted his gaze at this very moment, he might have seen a black wing flapping above the highest cliffs, as he was going down the wooden planking towards the docks, searching for his friend Stoick.

« By Thor's undies, if I don't find Stoick soon, I'll have to chop down a tree to make me a new leg. I bet it's smaller now when I've dragged it everywhere ! » he mumbled to himself.

The sun was beginning to set as father, son and dragon squatted near the edge of the cliff. With the endless sea and the clouds with their changing colors as far as the eye could see, it was one of these beautiful evenings on Berk.

Stoick heaved a deep sigh. « Son… I've been thinking a lot, and... well, you have the right to know. »

« Dad… thank you. And… I'm sorry because I'm sure it'll bring back painful memories to you… »

« Well, I must say I've never told the tale, nor tought much about it. At least tried to. Every time I did… and every year after that… and every time a baby was born on Berk… it was painful again. My dear Valka was hurt during the dragon attack that night. Pregnant or not, she was as brave as could be, and would protect the village with all her strength. But I always kept an eye on her, especially when I knew she was with child. But this time… something unexpected happened. »

« Alvin… » Hiccup said under his breath.

« Yes… Alvin didn't heed my orders, and I was taken by surprise. I should have known… »

« Dad, no. You couldn't know. Don't blame yourself. »

Stoick sighed. « It's not that simple, Hiccup. Alvin and I were best friends, and I knew he wanted to show the whole village what he could do. I should have guessed he would be trying… again and again. »

« Dad… »

Stoick raised his hand to gently silence his son. « When I saw Valka on the ground, my heart stopped. She was half-conscious, neither gone, nor there. I took her inside our house, not caring anymore for the dragons and the danger they were, well at that time, of course ! »

« What about Alvin ? »

« He didn't see this. He was fighting against more dragons, and in the rage of the battle, sometimes you can't hear anything…. Thanks to him and the other warriors, though, the village was saved this time, even if I had retrieved to the house. I'm not… proud of it, you know. That's not how a chief has to behave. »

« But Mom could have died without you. Maybe you saved her. »

« I don't know… Gobber saw me with Valka in my arms, and I told him to find Gothi and send her to me as soon as it would be possible. After some time, which seemed so long to me, she was coming back around, with difficulty. But she was able to open her eyes and smile weakly at me. She had cuts and bruises in several places on her body, but I had no idea the worst one was inside… »

Hiccup remained silent as he imagined what it must have been like for his father.

« Suddenly, she held her middle, gritting her teeth, and it seemed so painful. I remember I was holding her hand through an endless moment of suffering. And then… she started to bleed…

That's when she got really scared. She knew what was happening. This child that had begun to grow inside her, this child we had already started to love and imagine, was maybe… » He paused. « I gently forced her back down, and I saw tears in her eye. She was whispering « Please, don't leave me. Please don't go… ». I felt… so helpless. I could lift huge rocks, break trees in two, but this… there was absolutely nothing I could do… neither Gothi. So we waited, anxioulsy.

At some point, Alvin… happened to come and fly the door open. Dawn was rising, and he was looking for us. I left Valka for the first time since we came into the house, and in no time, I was before him. I didn't really think. I only knew that I couldn't bear to see him in my house. I couldn't bear to see him near her. Never again. I threw him outside, yelling and raging against him. I didn't give a word of explanation. He was able to understand with that what happened… even if he didn't know about the child. It was still our secret, to Valka and I. And, well, Gothi. »

« What about Gobber ? »

« We had planned to tell him, but the baby was gone on the day he knew its existence. Valka was bleeding and bleeding, and at some point, Gothi informed us there was nothing to do for the child, and that we had to give all our prayers to Valka. »

Hiccup felt a pang in his heart as he heard his father's words. His tone, his eyes lost in the void… and now he was feeling helpless too.

« She was very weak from the loss of blood, but above all, she was devastated. Suddenly, to her, to me… the past was another land. We had hopes, we had joy, we had… innocence.

We didn't see the sun that day. Nightfall came, the night passed. It was a night with no tomorrow, and we were stuck in an endless present, empty and meaningless. What would be left for the future ? Every certainty we had was gone with our unborn child. »

**I hope you liked that chapter. I tried my best to write this part, in memory of a part of me. It's been 10 years today I was through my own night with no tomorrow. I wanted to share this gift with all of you.**

**The story is not complete, however : why is Hiccup so implied ? What effects did these events have on his own birth ?**


End file.
